Health and chores... warning guys, this one talks about "woman parts."

Some of you may have heard this one b4, so please excuse the repitition. I thought i would catch everyone up to now... oh, and it talks about medical stuff and guts and girls bits, so don't read if you get really squeamish!

Do you know how hard it is to explain to my son that his sore toe should not keep him from doing his chores, when i have spent the better part of 4+ years in bed or resting on the couch, because i have been sick for at least that long? I think it finally sunk in today when I explained I that for at least ten years, i have been surviving with a very diseased vital organ and, eventually, it disintegrated into shreds when a doctor finally listened to me and removed it. I say vital, because for me to have borne both him and his brother, I needed that uterus. The attached ovary had thrown me into the most explosive and painful episodes I have ever experienced. Have u ever felt horrible stomach pains, felt your face was on fire, sat on the toilet holding the garbage can to catching the other end, only to lose consciousness and have your faithful (and freaked out and grossed out) spouse run in just in time to lift your head so you wouldn't drown in your own vomit. I can't get to the ER right away... and I would die of embarrassment if we had to call the local rescue guys. We live in a small town, and I don't even want to face that handsome volunteer firefighter/ emt at the town festivals or in the middle of Fred Myers if he had to see me pooping and barfing all over the place! So we wait until the pooping is at least taken care of ... I grab a bowl and start heading to the car; one time i actually crawled. Tom could have carried me, but it would have hurt too much.

Now it's time to try to explain to the ER doctor what the last couple hours have been like. They don't see anything wrong, except that my lower abdomen hurts a bit. I am a talented actress (please excuse the vanity for the sake of the story,) so i am careful not to over-dramatize things. Looking back now, I'm sure it was hard to believe this stoic woman had just gone through all of that. My first attack happened 10 years ago. It would repeat a couple times, then go away. Only to return with a vengeance every few years...

The third OBGYN told me these little discomforts were certainly worth bearing rather than being thrown into early menopause. Next please!

Finally an ER doc with a brain sent me for an immediate full body scan. It looked like I had a rather large ovarian cyst exactly where i pointed to when it hurt. It was only 4 or 5 centimeters, and had fluid around it. By then, i had done my research; i either had recurring rupturing cysts or a rare tumor. I saw the cyst, so i thought the answer would be pretty simple, right? No. I would be in much more pain if i had a rupturing cyst. The next few OBGYNs agreed. Finally, my regular dr and i sat down and looked at the films of that one (and only) full scan, plus several ultra-sounds. She pointed out where there was obvious fluid and blood coming from that cyst (and one other one they actually caught on film. She agreed this should be a no-brainer, but still I couldn't find a Doctor willing to take out a "perfectly good organ."

The culmination of several other health problems sent us to the Mayo clinic for answers. Chronic fatigue, fribromyalgia, decreasing immune system, depression, etc... They tested me from head to toe, they spent time talking with me, and they gave me a laundry list of things i needed to change. Number one was to get a hysterectomy; not only was i having these horrible bouts of rupturing cysts, but i was losing so much blood that i wasn't able to reproduce enough before i lost it again.

We returned to Oregon with a plan... even then, we had to wade through one more Dr. Jerkweed, to find Dr. Awesome-sent-from-God-angel! I would have to go look up her name, but she is among my favorite people in this world! She listened and agreed to take out my uterus (not just scrape it with lazers) plus my left... yes only the left... ovary. What was scheduled to be a 2 hour surgery turned into a 5 hour ordeal. Endometriosis, plus it's mirror image disease that i can't remember the name of, had taken over, and what normally comes out as one gross lump, shredded and tore until she had to work it out in pieces. Then came the ovary, so covered with scar tissue, they had to carefully scrape it off of other stuff in there, including my bladder. But she was great and got it all out without damage to the rest of me.

A couple other procedures, including a "nose-job", and I should be on the way to good health and happiness. And i am... kind of. With damage this long, my body is worn out, and i can't fight of even a baby germ! I have found a great Doctor and a wonderful Naturopathic Doctor, who is working to get me actually healthy and not just medicating the symptoms. But it's still an up-hill battle. I recently fought off a 2 month bought of Lymph node system poisoning, and last week a simple cold had me in bed for the entire week. I finally feel human again! I hope it sticks around.

But back to my kids, who are having a hard time remembering the super-soccer-mom, drama teacher, theater director, artist, author, dancer, poet... and someone who was a good example of having a strong work ethic. So now i am faced with helping them know how to work hard, and how hard to work. The balance of a healthy, successful life... I don't care if this illness was not my choosing, I feel guilty that my weaknesses have had a negative affect on my 4 crazy monkeys.

So, I again am asking for your prayers... I know I am meant to be well again, but it gets very discouraging.

Okay, it's way past my bed-time and I didn't talk about what i had said I would last time. Be patient, it will come. Also, my apologies to those who have heard all this b4. I will try not to repeat myself, but this part is such a part of where i am now. Thank you for indulging me. <3>