bleak

scrapes and scraps
are left behind
soon the scrapes
will disappear
and the scraps
 throw out
and nothing is left.

up-date

    I promised I would post a few times every month, so here is a check in:

  I'm working on keeping my NY's resolutions... so far, i think i would give myself a C.

 I found ALL of my 1988 MOP team, and we are planning a reunion!  These people changed my life, and they're super crazy and fun!  So excited!!!

   I'm not sure what Bubba is gonna do next year, and I'm more stressed about it than he seems to be.  The frustrating part of this situation is that the kid has a near genius IQ.  I know most parents believe their offspring are the next Einstein, but we have had him tested and re-tested.  He is one of those people who can't seem to pass basic biology, but (if pointed in the right direction) he could change the world.  My job right now is to let him go, little by little.  If we haven't done our job by now, then it will never get done.  I'm confident that we have raised a good, productive member of society, which is, in the end, the parents' main job.

  Taven is still struggling with his health.  He has an even higher IQ than his brother (little brother respect and revenge!)  His grades are picking up, but he is another one of those bright kids who could easily fall through the cracks.  "no child left behind" also means "no child pushed ahead."  Unfortunately his health is not helping him keep up with his school work.  He still remains the Sugar Boy, sweetest boy you've ever met.  If he and Bubba some day team up... watch out world!

  It still amazes me that DHS labelled HaleyAnne as "developmentally challenged" and "retarded."  Her biological parents were told she was autistic.  She is a bright, popular, funny, smart, and beautiful young lady.  She does take her own sweet time getting things done, especially if she is enjoying what she is doing, but I would attribute that more towards perfectionism than just being"slow."  The rest of her problems can easily laid to rest on our broken foster care system. I am so proud of the great strides she has made in her personal and spiritual development. If her height stays on track, I could easily see her being a famous model, who works to cure cancer in her spare time.  =-)  She enters middle school next year, and I have no worries that she will do well.

  Now for my little sassy miss thang, known as Ania (short for Arianna.)  I enjoy her spunk.  I have no worries about her falling prey to peer-pressure, and she is also doing well in school.  She and I are working on getting healthier.  It's a balancing act between encouraging her to lose weight and causing her to have a bad body image and self-esteem.  We are working together to develop a fitness plan for the whole family.  We are hoping to publish and market our system, with amazing before and after pictures.  An important part of that system will be teaching parents how to talk about weight problems.  First, we avoid phrases like "lose weight" and "diet."  Instead we talk about "getting healthy" and "portion control."  When it comes to body image, we talk about "stick girls" and "roundy girls."  The funniest part of that discussion is that both body types usually wish they had the other type.  I'll keep you posted on a publish or release date.  It's fun to have a project that we can work on as a family.

  which leads me to my business aspirations.  Aunt Nonnie is stretching her wings and getting ready to fly in late spring.  At first we will do an on-line business, as well as live markets and fairs.  I'm excited to be excited about smoething.

  my health is improving exponentially, due in large part to my doctors, esp. my pain specialists @ hazeldon (sp?) clinic, Dr. Andy Mendenhall and Dr Konti.  They sent me to a great DBT (and other specialties) psychologist, Deanna Jago, who rocks!  I had a setback this weekend, due mostly to my own mistakes in medication, but until then I felt like ME for the first time in years.  Unless you lose yourself in pain or mental disease, you can only understand in part what that means.  I pray that you never truly understand.

  I am super bummed that I miss my long-time bff's birthday bash.  I was so close to going, but my meds got mixed up and I developed a nasty migraine.  On the happier side of things, I am missing less and less these day, and enjoying more and more.  I owe Glenn a fancy Birthday dinner!  sorry, hon!

  I gave a big shout out to my doctors, but I really should thank God first and those of you who continue to pray for me.  Don't stop!!!  It's working!

   I just realized I didn't give an up-date on my hubby, Tom.  I think that's because he is my rock, keeping me grounded and lifting me up when I need it.  In April we will be celebrating 20 years of wedded bliss (and frustrations, and unconditional love, and arguments, and working as a team.)  I really am the luckiest wife.

  my parents are loving retirement and have been tearing up the road on their Harley.  I remember those days when both my parents were working more than full time for only one person's part-timer pay.    God is good!

  between my 2 brothers and my family, we have a dozen cousins.  Aunt Nonnie loves each and every one of them!  My girls are adopted, but if you looked at a picture of all the cousins, i bet you couldn't pick out the adopted ones.  I'm so grateful to my family for accepting and loving our girls.  We are family.  Since I don't have a "blood" daughter, I get a little wishful for that "mini-me."  God has filled that void with my girls, whom I spoil like crazy, but also in the faces of my nieces, whom I also spoil like crazy.

well, this turned out longer than expected... hope it was at least interesting.  Thanx 4 dropping by!
-jay-