my blessings... part one.

Pain and sickness can over-shadow everything else in life. Tonight I aspire to reflect upon the good things in my life; they more than out-number the bad!

The people in my life are the best of the best. Unfortunately, I have recently started to obsess about their faults. I am guilty of gossip and spreading discontentment in my own family, and I now vow to move forward into the positive light. I shall strive to let only complements and constructive words leave my mouth. I will speak the truth in love, and let my mind dwell on what I love about the people God has sent into my life. Each one is a gift.

Love begins with myself and God. Before I can focus on the good in others and truly love them, i need to find God's gifts in me. The Bible tells us to love others as we love ourselves; we cannot give what we don't have. Love begins in me, which wasn't really a problem until recently.

Most people can't point to the exact time they began having an eating disorder. I can. It was while shopping for clothes, just before 8th grade. Keep in mind, at that time nobody really knew about or discussed this problem. Swim suits get us every time! I couldn't fit into the kids' sized suits, and i had no boobs to fill out the adult suits. So I began to starve myself, occasionally binge, then feel so bad I would eat even less. Early in high school I was so thrilled when my weight dropped to 94 lbs. Oops, there I go again: reflecting on the negative. I'll just speed it up here.

One of my greatest fears is to be fat. I have recently weighed one hundred pounds over that weight I reached in High School. No matter how you put it, that is fat. Some of you might wonder what the big deal is; I can only say that it affects my entire perspective on who and what I am.

On to the positive... I have this crazy idea for an exercise program, so I start taping it next week. Wouldn't you like to see a fat person doing the exercises, and then see her progress and the weight fall off. I think it would be inspirational to those chubs like me to start at that same place, and help them fall into a hot new body, too! Included will be short tips to eating and health, etc. I know how to get there, i just have to DO it. It will also be part of my son's home schooling projects, covering videography, health, and PE. and it will be a great example for all of my kids. Being diligent can get you want you want, plus how to have a healthy body and a healthy body image.

I'm asking you to keep me accountable for this project... ask me how it's going... I dare you to challenge me!

On to counting my blessings, and appreciating them. The first one is my husband. We got together because our personality types were so opposite, our business professor suggested we would make a good team, provided that we appreciate and utilize the other person's strengths and weaknesses. That professor didn't know how true that would be... for the rest of our lives.

... I have so much more to say, but this insomniac is feeling sleepy! I gotta take advantage when I can, so this is a "to be continued...."